


I choose you too

by Cassammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Domestic, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor mention of blood, Mutual Pining, Nearly Human Castiel, Nightmares, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassammy/pseuds/Cassammy
Summary: Castiel had left the bunker a month ago without giving any news. Sam always knew where he was, and one day he decided to join him unexpectedly at the Doweling Cabin. He asked Dean to drive him there and because of the storm, they were stuck in the house in the middle of the woods, far away from everything for days. They will have to face their feelings.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37
Collections: Sastiel Big Bang 2020





	1. Caeli

**Author's Note:**

> The story takes place after Cas leaves the bunker in episode 15x03, so everything that happened before is real. It's very cheesy, but it's probably because I'm a hopeless romantic.  
> I am rarely proud of what I write, I am sorely lacking in confidence in my English but I deeply love this story and this relationship, I hope you would enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. They inspire me every day.
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader Keej, who was AWESOME. And to the wonderful artist Marichromatic. ♥

Dean asked his brother “How the hell are we supposed to fight God?” and Sam didn’t know yet. He watched Dean pour himself another drink, not remembering the last time he had seen him so defeatist. Sam was the optimistic brother, full of hope. They defeated all the enemies who crossed their path before and even if it were God, it wouldn’t be any different this time.

“I need sleep. ‘Night Sammy.”

Dean stood up, finishing his glass which he placed noisily on the table. He took the rest of the whiskey bottle with him, leaving the library. Sam sighed slightly and sat for a moment on one of the tables. He picked up his phone that was lying beside him and opened his messages. Still no news from Castiel. Two weeks of radio silence that was so heavy that Sam sometimes wondered if Lilith had found him and killed him. And that his body was decimated somewhere and that he would never know.

When things were complicated with Dean, Cas was always the pillar he could count on. There were certain things he shared only with the angel. Things he couldn't tell his big brother. He couldn't stand this situation. He wasn’t used to having Cas out of the bunker. He's his best friend, right, the only person he trusted apart from Dean. It was normal to feel this emptiness when he was not around. This concern of not knowing how he was.

Sam left the main room, stopping himself from calling Cas again. A good night's sleep would do him the greatest good. With hope that bad dreams would give him a break for a few hours. He was restless, emotionally and physically. He needed to recover just a little. And sleeping was easier than admitting the only thing he needed right now.

•••

An additional week passed, and another one. Nothing about God, or Lilith. Sam and Dean were on the road, returning from a routine hunt. Sam looked out the window, noticing that the sky was getting darker and the wind was blowing stronger and stronger as the trees moved. He finally saw the road sign he was looking for, which indicated the town of Cheyenne, Wyoming within 14 miles.

"Dean. Can we stop in the next town? I need to pee, and I can get something to eat."  
Sam wasn't really hungry, he just needed an excuse for Dean to stop. "I heard they make burgers… with waffles.”

“Oh, Hell yes!”

Sam laughed when he felt the Impala speed up. He was also delighted to see that his brother was doing better after their escape from the bunker, to do what they know best. Save lives, and fight monsters. At the moment, all the victories were good to take.

Dean parked in front of a Diner and Sam reached into the trunk of the car to retrieve his backpack there. Dean checked to see that Baby was tightly closed and raised his eyebrows when he saw Sam walking towards the restaurant door with this bag over his shoulder.

"Why the bag?" Dean asked when they sat down at their table, looking over the menu.

Sam remained silent for a while. He considered lying but then he told himself that no more should be added.

"I'm here to see Cas,” Sam answered, not knowing what else to add.

"I'm sorry, what?” Dean quickly opened and closed his mouth, processing the information. “You made me stop in the middle of nowhere to go after Cas? Man... "

Sam was surprised by the tone Dean used, and was being a little bit too defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?” They both thanked the waitress for their order she dropped on the table and Sam hastily crunched a piece of his vegetarian wrap. Dean didn’t start his burger, watching him instead.

“There’s something about you and Cas... I don’t understand. He LEFT us, Sam. He left you too. And you’re still going after him over and over again. Every time. You can’t give up on him.”

There was some anger in Dean’s voice and Sam knew it was because of the fight between them. He knew he didn’t mean everything he said but something pinched inside him when he heard “He left you”. For a second he doubted his decision to come here. Maybe Cas really didn’t want to see him. Maybe he would knock on the door and Castiel wouldn’t open it.

Sam put the rest of his sandwich down and looked his brother in the eyes. “Look, Dean. I’m here to see Cas, and I won’t apologise for going after my friend, okay? You can go, I don’t think he wants to see you anyway. I’ve got this.”

He stood up and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. He rummaged through his pockets to find his wallet and placed a few bills on the table. Dean sighed and looked at his brother, who was about to leave. “Are you even sure he’s here? I won’t leave you alone in this crappy town.”

“Yes. I’m sure.” It wasn’t very difficult to find him with the tracker in his phone. Sam wanted to reassure his brother, who was obviously worried. “You should leave before the storm. Don’t worry, I’ll call.” Sam walked past Dean and squeezed his shoulder. Dean had nothing to add, Sam being the most stubborn of the two of them. “Castiel will drive me home, or you can pick me up later. Whatever. See you soon Dean.”

Sam left the restaurant, checked the coordinates he found of the Doweling Cabin on his phone and headed for the forest surrounding the lake. The place was a few hundred meters from the center of the city.

The closer he got to the house, the more he slowed down. He adjusted his hood and scarf around his neck when he felt a few drops of rain fall on his nose. It was a little colder, and he was looking forward to getting back in a warm place. After almost twenty minutes of walking, he arrived at the door of the cabin. It was more charming than he could have imagined considering the unusual city he had seen. There were no other dwellings around, a breathtaking view of the lake and an almost oppressive calm. There was no noise apart from a few squirrels in the trees. Cas's car was parked here, which reassured him that he was in the right place. He stopped in front of the entrance, taking a few seconds to take a deep breath of fresh air. He felt a bit silly being stressed out to see him again as if he were a stranger. He knocked on the door, his foot nervously hitting the doormat. It opened, and Sam couldn't hide a slight smile on his face.

“Hey Castiel,” He practically murmured.

After a short silence, Castiel finally spoke. "Sam? ... What are you doing here?"

His voice was full of surprise. He didn't expect to see Sam here. The two of them did not move, Castiel leaning against the half-open front door. The pouring rain started to intensify outside, and Sam sneezed which made the angel react. He moved away and pointed to Sam to go inside the house.

"Come in, please. I don't want you to be sick."

Again, Sam hid a smile from the corner of his lips. He hadn't realized how much he had missed Cas's attention in normal times. He thanked him and went inside. He scrutinized it out of curiosity. He wanted to know where he lived far from the bunker. So far... He was stunned. Unlike their house, the cabin was very bright thanks to the huge glass doors. It was warm, and well laid out. Not wanting to be too intrusive, Sam turned to look at Cas again. He had closed the door and was watching Sam without saying a word. The atmosphere was a little awkward, which was unusual between them. Sam relaxed when Cas smiled at him, offering to take off his soaked coat and scarf.

"Here's the coat rack. I'm going to light the fireplace. And maybe after that you can tell me how you found me." Before disappearing from the entrance, he added, "I'm glad you're here, Sam."

Without realizing it, Sam nibbled his lower lip, annoyed by this feeling in the bottom of his belly. He was delighted that he was there, it was a very good thing. At least he hadn't come for nothing.

Sam undressed, hanging his clothes near a heater to dry. He sighed when he noticed that his t-shirt was also wet. He rummaged through his bag to find a clean, dry t-shirt and quickly put it on. He put the rest of his things in a corner, and tentatively found his way to Cas.

He was crouching in front of the fireplace, filling it with pieces of wood. The smell that escaped was very pleasant. Comforting. He noticed that Castiel was not wearing his trench coat, which made sense since he was inside. Instead, he was wearing a black hoodie that looked vaguely familiar. It was a little wide for him, but he looked comfortable in it. Sam found it amusing to see Cas hanging around in socks, doing tasks as trivial as lighting a fire, or tidying up if you took into account the broom that hung around the sofa.

He looked ... happy. Appeased.

Castiel walked over to Sam when he was done, tilting his head, very curious to know the answer to his question.

"I hack police datas for a living, are you really surprised I found you Cas?" He laughed lightly, and Cas soon joined him.

"No. I'm not surprised."

Sam followed him into the kitchen after Castiel offered him coffee. He sat on a stool, captivated by what was happening outside. The spectacle was magnificent through the large picture window. The sky was completely dark, although it was only the middle of the afternoon. Clouds gathered and the first crack of thunder soon rumbled. The rain and the wind didn’t seem to want to stop.

Sam practically had his face glued to the glass, something Castiel watched out of the corner of his eye and found adorable. He was really pleased to see Sam here, who had thought of inviting him over and over again. He didn't need such a sophisticated place, but he wanted it to be a place where he would feel good. He was about to resume their discussion, and he poured coffee into a cup. But then he was interrupted by Sam’s phone ringing.

"Hey Dean,” Sam answered, not surprised that his brother already called him after a few hours apart.

"Sammy? Are you all right? I heard on the radio that a huge storm was hitting Cheyenne and the surrounding area." Dean paused and finally asked "So ... did you find your lovebird?"

"What -" Sam was sure he had mentioned the storm coming earlier today to his big brother, and rolled his eyes when he realized it was just a pretext for questioning. He continued "Yes." He looked at Cas for a second, after hearing a tree split in two not far from the cabin. Looking out the window, he also noticed how mud accumulated on the road he’d taken earlier. "Yeah. I found him."

"Can you stay there for a day or two? I can't come back now, I’m far from the city. And they said the forest will be flooded and impassable for a few days."

Sam put his hand on the phone microphone, hesitating before asking Castiel. "Can I ... stay here for the night? Because of the weather outside, Dean can't pick m--"

"Sam. Of course you can stay here. As long as it is needed."

“It's all good, Dean." Sam felt relief. He hung up after reassuring him a little more, and put his phone away. It was only him and Cas for now. He thanked him for the coffee, and was surprised to see Castiel drink one too.

"How is your brother?" Castiel asked, after taking a sip.

“Great. He’s doing fine.” Castiel hummed, not willing to talk about this more than necessary. Sam didn't force the discussion.

"We are stuck here, but there's plenty of things to do."

Sam cleaned his cup as well as Cas's. Then he broke the silence. “...How are you doing, Cas?”


	2. Terra

Castiel let out a sad sigh. He invited Sam to join him in the living room, in front of the fireplace and they sat on the sofa. He hadn't noticed it before, but a picture of Jack was framed and placed on it.

“I am doing okay. I really am now. I took the time to process everything that happened. Chuck, your brother, Rowena and …” He took a short pause and finished “...Jack.”

Grief takes time, and Sam wondered why it's not something they shared. Together. They did it before, they stayed up all night finding a way to bring him back. They mourned their son together.

“And this is where you went to find your peace?”

Castiel nodded and Sam continued, full of questions. "How did you find this place, by the way?"

Castiel said nothing for a few seconds, watching Sam. It was comforting to have him here. The couch wasn’t very large, but there spaced out from each other. Sam was curled up in the corner, his legs crossed, a cushion between his thighs. He was listening, and it was a good thing because Cas wanted to confide in him.

"After I left, I drove without knowing where to go. I had no more landmarks outside Lebanon. I could not go to Heaven. So I drove for several hours. And I listened to the local police radio and I heard about a case in this city. It seemed supernatural so I stopped to help.”

Sam nodded, showing him that he was still listening. Castiel continued his explanation.

"It was a fairly simple case. A djinn was messing around, I killed him. I saved the sheriff's daughter Lucy and he offered me a place to stay. So long as I helped out, because they’re understaffed. And I agreed. I needed to keep myself busy, and not to think about everything I lost."

Sam wanted to respond to the last things Cas said, but he also wanted to lighten the mood.

"You're a full time agent now mhm!" It worked because Cas laughed, bringing on a victorious smile.

"Yes I am. Agent Whittle. I owe you a lot." Sam frowned, surprised by this remark. "I'm not the reason you're a good hunter Cas."

The angel shook his head in disagreement, coming naturally closer to Sam. He put his hand on his ankle, no noticing the chills he caused.

"I mean it, Sam. You helped. You have always been very patient, giving me tips about hunting, hacking, and empathy with the victims. I never trusted my ability to hunt, but you believed in me. You trusted me. You trained me at the same time as other hunters and I’m using your knowledge everyday." He squeezed the piece of flesh he had between his fingers. "You're a very good leader."

Sam was very touched by Castiel's words. He had never told him this before. “You look great, Cas. “You look great Cas. You look ... really happy.”  
Castiel withdrew his hand from where it was, and smiled at him "I am. ... Are you happy Sam?"

He considered his answer. He hesitated to tell the whole truth. His obsessive need to have Castiel in his close entourage should in no case hinder his freedom and his happiness. Even if it meant him getting away from the bunker and being away from him and his brother.Sam considered his answer. He hesitated to tell the whole truth. His obsessive need to have Castiel in his close entourage shouldn’t hinder Castiel’s freedom or happiness. “Swell. I couldn't get better.”

Sam had made the right decision, relief showing on the angel's face. "That's good to hear."

The fire in the fireplace had gone down, and Castiel stood up to fuel it again. Night had now fallen, he could see it very clearly through the windows. The rain had subsided, the drops of water trickling slowly down the glass.

The moon lit the interior of the cabin but Cas still lit a few lamps. They couldn't get out of the house because of the weather, and there wasn't much to do inside. Castiel was about to suggest several activities when he heard Sam yawn, at least twice in a row.

"Sam, you are tired. Go rest."

It was out of the question. He had come to see Cas, to spend time with him. Chat, have fun. Make up for lost time with his best friend. He needed a distraction to stay here.

"I'm hungry. It's late and I don't have much in my stomach."

He felt a little guilty in front of Castiel's worried look. But he really was hungry.

"We can cook something together. I have lots of provisions. What would you like?"

Sam hummed, going to the fridge. It was full for a being who didn’t need to eat. "I’m in the mood for scrambled eggs. Do you have bread?" He took out three eggs, grated cheese and some herbs for seasoning. Castiel rummaged through his cupboards and retrieved a bag of sliced bread.

Watching Castiel take out the pan and the condiments, he thought to himself that there are so many things they never did together. Because of God, the apocalypses, the hunts, they never had time for a normal day. A simple day. He enjoyed the exercise, and Cas and it looked like Cas did, too.

Castiel grabbed the eggs from Sam's hand and looked at the inside of the pan thoughtfully. "I don't know how to do that."

Sam giggled, preheating the toaster. "Wait a minute. First you have to beat the eggs, in a bowl. With salt and pepper. Then the butter. You need a big knob. - I love butter.-"

The angel followed the instructions and put the ingredients in the pan. Sam put two slices of bread to brown and laughed when he noticed that Castiel was motionless in front of the baking sheet , spatula in hand.

"Cas. You have to ... Let me show you."

He placed himself behind him, sliding his hand along his arm, to direct the gestures of his hand. "Here. You mix everything, alternating on and off the heat. Until you get something homogeneous."

He walked away to retrieve a plate and his slices of bread which he placed on it. The freshly warm toasts allowed the cheeses to melt slightly on top.

"I think it's good." He turned off the heat and brought the scrambled eggs to Sam. Sam was sitting at the table, impatiently waiting for it. From hearing Sam’s happy moans, Castiel deduced that it was delicious.

“Oh my… It’s really good.”

It was probably a little dramatic but it had been a long time since he had eaten it. It was usually for breakfast but he liked to do it at any time of the day. And that changed Dean's repetitive meals.

"Let me taste it." Castiel who was curious about the dish he had partly concocted was offended when Sam shook his head, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"No. It's mine."

Sam laughed again when Castiel sighed, and threatened to "make another one even better."

He handed over half of his sandwich to Cas, who in turn crunched in and stole the rest of it.

"You're right. It's really good." Cas teased.

Amused, Sam ended his meal and drank a glass of water. He paused by the sink, clearly lacking in energy. His eyes were reddened and puffy from the lack of sleep and the long day he had. He sneezed, cough, and yawned, which was enough for Cas. "Sam. You need to rest." He wanted to protest, but his answer was cut off by another yawn. "I have a compromise. I'm finishing the dishes and we're going to watch a movie."

Sam appreciated the deal and nodded to accept the offer. “Do you have movies?”

"I do. There’s plenty of dvds. I have netflix too. It's in the bedroom, upstairs. First door on the left. I'll be right back."

Sam snorted, Cas was super proud to know how to make the technology work in this place. He followed Cas's instructions and went upstairs. He was amazed by the room. It was even better than the rest of the house. Spacious, and extremely well decorated. There was a large bed with red silk sheets and silver cushions.

He was a little jealous given the bed he had in the bunker. He could quickly get used to this luxury. He shyly sat on the bed, waiting for Cas to come. For a few minutes, he fumbled to look at his phone lying on the bedside table. He checked that he was not there and quickly pressed a button to turn on the screen.  
Sam - 37 unread messages. Sam - 18 missed calls. Sam - 5 voices messages.

He didn't remember sending so many things in a month. It was ... desperate. He felt embarrassed and he felt a wave of sadness inside him. All this time, he naively thought that Cas had no network, or that he had lost his phone somewhere. The reality was that Cas didn't want to talk to him. Or hear from him. It was hard to digest. And it was complicated to understand. He turned off the phone when he heard the steps on the stairs. Cas entered the room all playful, several dvds in his arms.

“Our last movie time was so long ago. What do you want to watch, Sam?”

He didn't know what to answer. Because at that moment, he only had unread messages in mind. He was not sure of the sequence of events. What would happen once the route is cleared and he returned to Kansas? Today he felt good, safe. And he didn't want to lose that, but he also didn't want to put pressure on the angel to come home. If he still considered it such.

Casually, he proposed the first film he had recognized in the pile he was holding. "Edward Scissorhands. It's a classic."

"Okay. Make yourself comfortable."

Sam didn't flinch, he couldn't wait to test this bedding. He only took off his socks, and stopped his fingers on the buckle of his belt. For comfort, jeans were not ideal.

"Can I ..." He gestured in front of his pants, making him understand that he wanted to take it off.

Castiel raised his eyebrows and replied very seriously. "Comfortable, Sam. And it's not the first time I saw you with few clothes."

He felt his cheeks blush, he wasn’t wrong. When they made their movie evenings in his room, he was often in a state of undress. Since Lucifer, and everything that happened, he had a harder time undressing in front of the others. Castiel must have understood his problem because he turned his head and pretended to look for the right language on the DVD menu.

Sam shouldn't be surprised that Castiel understood without him needing to say it. Castiel knew everything there was to know. He quickly removed his jeans and slipped under the sheets, wiggling slightly under them. Yeah, they were as comfortable as they seemed Castiel sat down on the armchair to the right of the bed, wishing to leave the place open for him to rest.

Sam couldn’t lie, he was a little disappointed. Although he didn’t feel hot and cold, Castiel brought a certain warmth when he was near him in the bed.

The angel launched the film, well installed in its seat. It didn't take long for him to be immersed in the film. He watched with interest what was going on, and listened to Sam’s comments on the production; Johnny Depp, and the sculptures in the garden. The room was very quiet, Sam's interventions had stopped for at least ten minutes.

"There’s a rabbit. And I think it's a moos--" Cas stopped when he turned his head and found Sam asleep in the middle of the bed, his head peaked out between the two big pillows. His hair barely poked out as he was wrapped in the blanket.

The scene was touching. He looked so peaceful that the tiredness seemed to have completely disappeared. He tended to fall asleep in the middle of the movies they were watching, most of the time because he started them when he was very tired. Cas assumed that the sound of the TV was very soothing and helped him fall asleep. As usual, he paused the movie and turned off the television. The movie had no interest without Sam's explanations. It was about sharing more than the movie itself.

He turned off the lights that were still on and left the room with natural light. Castiel made sure that Sam was still asleep and left the room.

According to the clock in the living room, it was 11:48 pm. Thinking that Sam wouldn’t wake up for several hours, he took a seat near the library, picking up a few books he was working on. He retrieved his notebook, and scribbled some notes on the work of an FBI agent and the creatures common to the legends of the lake.

Time passed, and it was almost 4 o'clock when moans were heard. He was confused, putting his pen down as a bookmark.

"Noo ... no please. Please Dean. Don't."

Since there were only two of them here, it was easy to guess where his screams came from. He ran upstairs, hurriedly opening the door.

"We are- we are brothers. Not enemies." Sam groaned more, struggling in the middle of the sheets. His breathing was jerky and irregular, Castiel had the impression that he was going to choke.

He was trying to manage his worry, he needed to be calm to adopt the best way to help him. He tried as best he could to remove the blanket that covered Sam as he clung to it fiercely. He threw it on the ground and what was happening was more serious than the outside.

His t-shirt was wet and dirty from perspiration, as was the fitted sheet under him. There were traces of blood on his thighs, his boxers, as well as on them. Wait, blood? He quickly looked for the cause of his tracks and soon found it on his shoulder. He concluded that the wound on his shoulder was the reason why Sam had a violent nightmare. He needed to inspect it.

"Sam? ... Sam, it's me. I'm here. I need you to wake up. It's just a bad dream." He wanted to reassure, but Sam’s state did not seem to improve. He knelt on the bed next to him, and put his arms under his back to remove his t-shirt. Sam was practically naked now and the wound was open, and bleeding.It She almost looked ... alive. The slimy black goo was mixed with blood, some lines plaguing the top of his chest and part of his arm.

Castiel didn't want to try to use his angelic powers like the last time. The power of this plague was much stronger than him and he didn't want to risk Sam's life.

"Dean ... This isn't you. This isn't you ..." The more Sam screamed and struggled against his bad thoughts the more the wound became active. Castiel figured he couldn't act on the wound itself but he could do something to bring Sam some peace of mind.

He put his two fingers on his forehead and it was enough to realize that he had a fever besides the rest. Castiel concentrated as hard as he could, swearing. "Not now. Please not now". Lately his powers were very random, he needed to force the use of his grace. His eyes glowed intermittently, like a battery almost run dry. The situation started to calm down, and the traces on Sam's body disappeared. The wound had returned to its original state, still there, but for the moment it looked under control.

Castiel withdrew his fingers from Sam’s forehead, taking a deep breath. He already felt he would need time to recharge but at least Sam seemed to be getting better so it was worth it.

He was calm, and still for a while. He felt Sam growling and waking up, so he got out of bed to give him some space. He rubbed his eyes, looking for Cas when they had fully opened them.

"Cas… what’s going on?" He touched his bare chest and looked around almost panicking. He soon realized that he had had another nightmare and he used a cushion to hide. He noticed the mess he made and felt ashamed. He felt like a kid caught peeing in the bed, which was strange given that he was not a child and Cas was definitely not his father.

Instead of looking him in the eye, he avoided contact and looked at the blanket and his dirty t-shirt on the floor. "Cas I'm sorry. I-- I’ll clean up everything."

“Do not worry about that, Sam.” Castiel was a little tired because of the prolonged use of his powers but did not want to let anything show through. "I'm handling it. It's still night, maybe you will need to rest more after. We will change room (rooms). You can use the bathroom if you want. The other one is right across."

Sam nodded, a little embarrassed and hurriedly left the room. He made a quick back and forth to retrieve his bag in the hall and took a very purifying shower. Very hot. He used a lot of shower gel to be sure to remove all traces of blood and the smell of perspiration.

Once finished, he put on a clean boxer, another brown t-shirt - good thing he brought a lot of them - and a black sweatpants. He put socks on because the tiles were cold and joined the other room as Cas had told him about. His shower must have been longer than he had noticed because Castiel was sitting on the bed, his hands clasped.

"You lied to me, Sam."

He wasn't wrong. He did lie. He didn't want to contradict him, and leaned against the door, sighing. "Maybe I did. It's not a big deal."

Castiel looked offended, and hid his concern. "Not a big deal? Sam, I’ve seen you go through a lot, I saw the nightmares you've had in the past. I've helped you before. But I've never seen anything like this . I thought ... " I lost you for a second left unsaid. "What happened during those dreams?"

"Mostly, Dean kills me or I kill him. Sometimes I'm the boy king, he's a demon, I'm soulless ... take your pick. It always ends the same way. One of us dies."

Castiel was surprised, and maybe it made sense. "You're seeing pieces of Chuck's work."

Sam nodded, "Yeah. Since he came back, it's gotten worse and worse."

Castiel rolls his eyes slightly. "Chuck is back? I thought he left the Earth."

“If you had answered my messages or my calls you would have known. Lilith is back too." He didn't want to be so rude, but Castiel felt he was and appeared to be hurt by his words.


	3. Ignis

Almost immediately, Sam apologized. He couldn't stand the idea of having pained the angel. "I didn't mean too ..." Castiel shook his head and stood up, approaching Sam. The closer he got, the more Sam looked tense. "I don't blame you, Cas. I understand. I ran away before."

Castiel was silent for a moment, his deep blue eyes anchored in Sam's. "You're right. I left you. And you have every right to be angry. Disappointed."

Without warning, Cas pulled Sam into his arms. Once the surprise was over, Sam ran his hands around his waist and pulled him closer, nestling his head in his neck. It was just a hug Cas offered, but it felt like an apology. Sam didn’t think Cas owed him one but appreciated the gesture.

However, Castiel was eager to tell him the truth, no matter what happened next. He broke their embrace and moved away from Sam, while maintaining his gaze. They say that the eyes are the window of the soul. Technically, he didn't have one but he wanted Sam to know how serious this was. "I left because of what happened with your brother, and Jack, and everything else but also because I didn't want to see you not choosing me."

Sam frowned, trying to decipher what Cas was saying. He continued. "I know you and Dean will always choose each other. It's okay, I understand that. I envy it too if I'm being honest. This unbreakable bound you have."

He pinched his lower lip, to motivate himself to continue. It was too late to walk back. "But I couldn’t stay in the bunker anymore. I needed to find myself. More than needing to find myself, I needed to find my own purpose here on Earth. To regain the self-confidence I lost, to make peace with Heaven, and my losses. I couldn’t do it in the environment that Dean and I created. Because I also have my own responsibilities.

Sam closed his eyes, not knowing how to answer immediately. Everything the angel said to him, deep down he’d suspected. He quickly opened them back up when he felt Castiel’s hand sliding timidly over his cheek.

"But in the process, I sacrificed a relationship with someone who means a lot to me. Who has always had my back. Who has never let me down." He slowly stroked his cheek, a sad smile on his face. "Sam, I didn't answer, I didn’t look at them because I knew that the minute I read your messages I would be going straight back home." Sam felt Castiel's hand withdraw from his face and put his hand over it to hold it in place. He slid his fingers between his and he was pretty sure he felt him shiver. "Cas, I'm here because I choose you too."

Instinctively, Sam felt Castiel moving closer, their breaths mixing. "Because this month without any news from you was driving me crazy. I selfishly needed you because you help me fall asleep, and I can talk to you freely about anything and everything. But I also needed to know you were fine. " He laughed a little because he was drooling. "Damn it, I just need you Cas."

"It's a shared feeling." Castiel laughed with him, and Sam let his hand go.

Neither of them spoke or moved. They were awkwardly standing close to each other, unsure of the outcome. Dawn was beginning to rise, and natural sunlight was entering the room. Castiel's eyes looked brighter with rays inside. They were even more blue with golden traces and more captivating than before.

By that time something had changed. They both felt it but no one dared to take the first step. Sam ended up breaking the silence by yawning.

"Come on, you really need to sleep Sam."

Sam balked, sleeping was not what he had in mind at the moment.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Castiel teased him, emphasizing the word "need". Sam rolled his eyes, laughing, tapping him lightly on his shoulder. He then approached the bed to lie on it. Yes, he really liked every part of this house. He slipped under the sheets, his head nestling down on the pillow. He watched Castiel go, and fell asleep more appeased than ever.

It was practically noon, and Castiel was happy to see that Sam had been resting calmly for a few hours now. He was still in the kitchen, watching the weather outside. The downpour had ceased, giving way to some rays of sun. The path was still impassable, and that delighted Castiel.

It meant that Sam would stay a bit more. He cleared the table when he was interrupted by Sam's phone ringing for the third time in ten minutes. Unsurprisingly, it was Dean. He sighed lightly, putting down his sponge and grabbing it to answer the call.

"Hello Dean," Cas said coldly, sitting down on a stool.

"Cas. Is everything okay? Where is Sam?"

"He is sleeping. He had a rough night."

"Oh." Dean paused for a second, then added before hanging up "Take care of him, please. And tell him to give me a call when he can."

Castiel rolled his eyes before putting the phone back on the sideboard. It was fast, and it was good for him. Castiel didn't have time to complain about his behavior when he saw Sam coming down the stairs, still half asleep. Cas didn't notice the goofy smile on his face. He had missed it, the sight of Sam waking up, growling against the light, his disheveled hair and pink cheekbones.

Sam sat down across from Castiel and muttered "Good morning, 'as".

"Do you want something to eat?” Castiel asked, ready to make him some breakfast. Sam shook his head, his hand resting on his stomach.

"No, thanks Cas. I'm queasy. I don't want to eat anything."

Castiel didn't force him, but contented himself with placing a glass of cold water in front of him. Sam thanked him, drinking it quietly. Sam looked around, his gaze captivated by the dozens of books open on the table near the library. He put the glass down on the counter and jumped off his stool to reach this corner. Castiel followed him, laughing lightly.

"You see books and you're not sick anymore,”

Sam didn't deny him, sitting down in the chair. "Are you working on something?"

Castiel nodded, grabbing an old book on French legends and mythical creatures. "I am. There are monsters near this lake that I have never heard of. Sinister, dark, obsessed with water and earth. They are vicious, and very hard to find. There are already two victims. "

If Sam could describe the afternoon they had just spent, he would say "the good old days". Both with their noses in lots of books, discovering new lores, sharing their theories and discoveries. They were so focused that they hadn't realized they had been working for hours. Castiel had taken a break to bring back cookies for Sam, who wouldn't admit that his stomach was growling.

"I think I've got it." Sam exclaimed, finishing his snack. He turned the book over so Cas could read, pointing to the passage that interested them.

Castiel passed quickly over the lines, a smile on his lips. "I think you're right, Sam."

Sam couldn't help but be proud of his find, knowing that Cas had been stuck since arriving here. He sighed heavily, fine with stopping. He enjoyed researching, and spending time with Cas doing that, but it was tiring.

"Thank you for your help, I couldn't have found this without you." He closed the book after putting a bookmark inside.

Sam waved a hand in front of him, because it was nothing. He was happy to be able to help.

The weather was still gloomy, obviously none of them would go hunting under these conditions. Sam grabbed the last cookie from the box, and looked at Cas who looked thoughtful. It was a trivial emotion for Castiel, but he really seemed to have an idea in his head.

"What is it?" Sam asked, relishing his cookie.

Castiel was quick to respond. "There's a place in this house that I haven't shown you. And that I think you'll love it."

Sam was curious by nature, and that was intriguing. "It's in the cave" Castiel continued and Sam pretended to be panicked.

"Are you going to kill me in this cave? Should I call the police?" He laughed as he stood up from his seat, Castiel tilting his head to the side almost exasperated.

His answer was so serious that Sam laughed more. "No, Sam. I will never kill you."

Sam tapped his shoulder lightly. "After you, Cas."

"You are very intelligent Sam, but sometimes you're an idiot."


	4. Aqua

Sam snickered as he followed Castiel back to the basement. When he opened the door, he really wasn't expecting this sight. Castiel had definitely hit the jackpot with this place. Despite being under the house, the cave was partially lit by natural light and the rest of the lights were lead, metallic and gold bulbs. The atmosphere was incredibly relaxing. And the highlight of the place was the indoor pool, wedged between the granite stone walls.

"Wow,” was the only thing Sam could say right then. He approached the edge of the water, intrigued by the fountain flowing from the central wall. "That's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." Castiel was reassured that his idea of Sam relaxing before going to sleep tonight was working. "There are clean swimsuits in the closet behind the screen. I don't think anyone has used them before, they're still in their packaging."

Sam laughed again, looking at Castiel tenderly. He seemed to have it all figured out, and he wondered when that had happened. "Thanks, Cas."

Sam disappeared behind the screen the time to change, then reappeared a few minutes later in a black swimsuit, which strangely suited him perfectly.

He didn't notice Cas's discreet gaze, who observed Sam in the unusual outfit and appreciated what he was seeing. Sam was so tall and his legs so slender. His hair wasn't the only advantage he had, far from it.

It wasn't long before Sam took the ladder to reach the water. Since having the bullet wound, he tended to have a little fever all the time and his body temperature was above normal. The contrast with the cooler water was nice, and he couldn't help but moan slightly.

Castiel took off his socks and sat down by the pool, only dipping his feet in. He opened back up the book they had read before, continuing to read about this mysterious creature.

While Sam went swimming, Castiel narrated the text. "Documentation points to their residence as being in small bodies of water like pools and lakes, forests, and any damp place. A guivre is a mythical creature similar to a dragon. In legend they were portrayed as serpentine creatures who possessed venomous breath. Locally in France it was known as an extremely aggressive creature that would sometimes attack without being provoked. They were afraid of naked humans, and when (add word: they) saw them, blushed and looked away. "

Sam held back a laugh, when Castiel looked concerned by this description. "It reminds me of Hannah."

Sam frowned, playing with the water. "Hannah? The angel Hannah?"

Castiel nodded, making little circles with his toes. "Yes. One day we were in a motel room and she wanted to take a shower so she undressed in front of me."

Sam was surprised, his movements gradually stopping. "Oh." He simply said, Castiel closing the book which he put on a nearby deckchair. "I didn't know that." He didn’t want to admit it, but a bit of jealousy ran through him. He should have known that Castiel had had other experiences in the past. And he had no right to want to deny it, but deep down he didn't think it would be with another angel nor in a female vessel. Sam shook his head, all the things going through his mind right now weren’t appropriate.

He decided that he wasn’t going to spoil the evening Castiel had planned. He clearly wanted Sam to be relaxing, so Sam approached where Castiel was sitting instead.

Castiel frowned, confused for a few minutes and shook his head when he understood where this was going. "No. Sam, I don't swim."

Sam stopped in front of Castiel's legs, lounging in the water and put a comforting hand on his ankle. "Do you trust me?"

Castiel sighed. He knew that the answer to this question had only a very simple answer ; "Yes."

Sam smiled fondly at him, and again added "Come here, then." Castiel slid along the edge, ending up in the water with all his clothes on. The water wasn’t deep, not enough to bother Sam. But Castiel found it difficult to stay still, struggling to balance on tiptoes. For a second, Sam felt guilty. Castiel didn't seem comfortable, and he wasn't sure an angel couldn't drown.

"Castiel, I'm here. It's okay." He wanted to be comforting, his eyes locked in Castiel's. "You have to take this off, the weight of the pants doesn't help in the water. It will be easier to have control." He should have thought of this before. He put his hands on Castiel's belt and unbuckled it. He wasn't sure of the limit of his movements so he stopped.

"Can I ...?"

Castiel didn't answer, and just nodded.

He resumed his movements, and unbuttoned Castiel’s pants. Sam then lowered his fly so he could take them off. Castiel moved slightly to help him remove it, until they floated to the surface. Sam grabbed the clothes and threw them on the floor.

Castiel moved his legs more freely and appeared calmer. Sam was worried, but it’s probably because Castiel looked so vulnerable. He also looked tired. All the human things that were so easy for him, eating, sleeping, swimming, common stuff were more complicated for Cas.

The situation was more relaxed when a gleeful Castiel splashed water onto Sam. He splashed back, a genuine smile on his face. "Hey!"

Castiel pretended not to hear him and tried to reproduce the swimming gestures that Sam used before. He did a few strokes under the watchful gaze of Sam, his blue tie and his conspicuous white shirt in the water. Castiel stopped near the waterfall, running his hand under her it.

"This water comes from the lake." He explained, and Sam teased him. "The same water where the monster lives?"

Castiel opened and closed his mouth quickly, it was a good point. But he still wanted to defend himself. "Well, yes ... but it's filtered."

Sam chuckled, still in the middle of the pool. He spoke a little louder so Castiel could hear him with the pressure of the water near his ears. "So we're safe."

Castiel, again, looked thoughtful. He swam towards Sam and stopped in front of him, his breathing a little more choppy than usual.

"Cas, are you okay?" Sam asked, hiding his concern. Castiel nodded silently, but Sam wasn't convinced. "We can get out if--"

Castiel interrupted him, refusing the idea. "No. I feel good here." Castiel approached again, their bodies practically colliding. He didn't know much about swimming, but he knew he didn't want to be anywhere else right now. Tentatively, he hugged Sam, wrapping his arms around his neck. Sam embraced him harder, a happy sigh escaping his breath. When he felt Castiel break their embrace and pull back, instinctively he held him back.

Castiel smiled inwardly, keeping his hands around the back of his neck. An unexpected confidence seized all his senses and all his gestures. He pulled himself up onto Sam's body until he was able to wrap his legs around his waist. For once, he was taller than him, and he could look up at him. Sam slipped one hand under his buttocks to support him, and put the other on his lower back. With the water, Castiel's tie stuck to his chest and it wasn't unpleasant. He felt Cas's fingers slowly caress the piece of flesh between his shoulder blades, he was thankful the pool was mostly masking his chills. With his other hand, Castiel wiped away a few drops of water that Sam had on his lips, watching them intently. For a moment, Sam hoped Castiel wanted them dry so he could kiss him there, but he didn't. Sam didn't want to try to do it, being afraid he might not read the situation properly.

Neither of them knew what to say, and they didn't really want to talk. They let themselves be lulled by the sound of water flowing from the wall, and nocturnal birds breaking the silence. Castiel rested his chin on the top of Sam's head, closing his eyes to appreciate the moment before he finished.

They stayed like that for tens of minutes, before Castiel moved. He slipped one hand down Sam's cheek, the other lost in his wet hair. He stroked him lightly, repositioning a few strands of hair stuck to his face. "I would love to stay here, forever if we could. But it's getting late. And you've only had one box of cookies all day. You need to eat, Sam."

Sam groaned, Cas wasn't wrong. Of course he wasn't. Reluctantly, he shrugged and added with a sigh "Alright."

Castiel placed a light kiss on his forehead, and completely let go of his grip. Sam bit his lower lip as he felt Cas's body rub against his again, and praised his body for reacting moderately to all of these events.

They both left the pool, Castiel grabbing a towel which he threw at Sam before walking back up to the living room. Sam went to the upstairs bathroom to dry his hair and dress in clean clothes.

They met in the kitchen later, Sam sitting down on the table. His phone rang at that moment. This didn’t happen often but he had completely forgotten his brother.

"Hey Dean." Sam said, picking up. Castiel looked at him intently, remembering that he hadn't warned him that his brother had called earlier today.

"Sammy! How are you doin’, little bro?" Dean seemed cheerful, but he felt he wasn't calling to talk about the good weather. "Sorry to interrupt whatever is happening there, but I'm coming to pick you up tomorrow morning."

Sam had to be hallucinating, his face hardened. He knew it was bound to happen at some point but couldn't help but ask him "Why?"

"Because hunters don't have holidays, Sam. Rowena contacted us from Hell. She needs our help, demons are going rogue and are infiltrating Earth. I need you back in Lebanon asap."

Sam sighed again, under Castiel's inquisitive gaze. "Okay." His older brother hung up after adding that he would be waiting for him at 9 am in front of the diner in town.

It didn't take long for Cas to ask him about their conversation. "You have to go?" It was a question more than an accusation, but his disappointment was clear. Even though Castiel knew it was important.

Sam nodded, wagging his nose waiting to know what to say. "Yes. I am. But we have a few hours before us. We will take advantage of it."

Sam smiled slightly as he placed a soft kiss on Cas's cheek. Because apparently that was something they were doing now. He quickly made a pasta dish with veggie bacon and found Cas in front of the fireplace. He sat comfortably in the same corner of the couch that he used before. He was enjoying his meal, Castiel looking at the information on the iPad.

"The storm is over. It's safe to go home tomorrow." Sam nodded, part of him delighted to hear it and the other part wished it would last longer. It had been a long time since they had spent time together, without Dean, without problems, without hunts. Only the two of them, doing common and mundane things. It was nice, and the return to real life was going to be complicated. An incoming call interrupted his thoughts, Castiel accepting it on his tablet.

"Hey Cas!" a soft, feminine voice said, Sam unable to see the face appear on the screen from his seat.

"Hey Sunny," Castiel answered, smiling at her. Sam frowned when he heard that name. Sunny… the milkshake waitress? From Charming Acres?

Curious, he hurried to finish his bowl before placing it on the coffee table. He cleaned his mouth against his sleeve and moved closer to Cas to be in line of sight. It was her. She hadn't really changed except for the pink highlights in her red hair and she looked happier than he remembered. When she noticed his presence, he could see real contentment on her face. "Sam! I'm very happy to see you. How are you doing?"

Sam glanced at Castiel, puzzled, but refocused on her to answer. "Sunny, it's glad to see you too! I'm fine. How are you?"

"Doing just fine. This little monkey is keeping me busy and bringing me so much joy." She slid her hand over the barely haired head that was holding it, replacing the purple knot she was wearing. Sam hadn't even noticed the baby, sitting on her mom's lap. She must have been five months old at most, he thought.

"Hey Camie," Castiel looked all gaga over this baby, waving at her fervently in front of the screen. The little one seemed to have seen him, her smile hidden behind her pacifier. She tried to touch the screen to reach Cas's hand. Sam watched this scene out of the corner of his eye, touched by it.

Camie turned her head, looking worriedly at Sam who she had never seen before. They looked at each other for a few seconds, and Sam smiled at her.

"This is my friend, Sam. I already told you about him. The tall one with the beautiful hair,” Cas said and Sam blushed, glad to know he found his hair beautiful.

Sam chuckled and Sunny wasted no time in joining him. She continued to speak. "Oh, you talk so much about Sam that she must know him. I understand better why you missed our last call by the way ..." Her comment was full of innuendo, and Castiel's cheeks flushed, ignoring Sam's glances at him.

“I am sorry, Sun’.”

She rejected his apologies, because they had no place. "Don't worry about that, Cas. I understand. I hope you both come to see us soon. She'll be happy to finally meet the two people she's been named after."

Sam opened and closed her mouth in shock, not expecting such a revelation. Castiel was silent, and the conversation ended. "I should put her in bed. Glad I got to talk to you boys. Bye."

She ended the call after Sam and Cas waved at them both and said goodbye. Castiel placed the tablet on the table, his gaze falling on a pensive Sam, and full of questions. Castiel started talking before Sam asked his questions. “Sunny put her dad in a retirement home and moved after that. She lives near Heaven's gate, actually. I first saw her almost a year ago. We kept in touch and became friends."

Sam nodded, he was glad Cas had a friend besides him and Dean. And Sunny was a good person. "I didn't know she was pregnant."

Castiel shook his head, grabbing a blanket that was lying on the sofa. "She didn't know it when Conrad died either. But she experienced it as a miracle, a new beginning. She called her Camie because it was the most credible solution to pay homage to those who saved them. "

Sam frowned again, thinking, noticing the bits of "Sam", and "Cas" in her name. "Wait. What were the other solutions?"

Castiel shrugged, "Sastielle? Samcassie? But I think it was a joke."

Sam burst out laughing, and Cas laughed with him. "I hope so. But… I appreciate the gesture." He was sincerely touched, honored that saving people had such an impact.

"Yes. She helped me a lot. Without her there are some things that I could not have seen."

He fled Sam's gaze, focused on the burning wood in the fireplace. He nervously played with the blanket, which covered his legs. Sam whispered "I'm glad she helped you, Cas" not wanting to insist on what he found out.

The silence was heavy for a few moments. Castiel simply said; “I am too.” The crackling of fire reflecting in his blue eyes.

Castiel repositioned himself on the sofa, until he rested his head on Sam's shoulder. To make it easier for him, Sam moved him slightly. Although he did not find the position that pleasant. He slipped a pillow behind his neck to make it more comfortable. Castiel let out a “Thanks" and these were the last words he had for the evening.

"Maybe we can end the mov--" Sam shushed when he realized that he wasn't responding. His brow furrowed, he lowered his head to find Castiel sleeping on his shoulder. It was a first. In eleven years, he had never seen the angel sleep. It wasn't normal, but he figured it could wait until tomorrow.

He tried to get off the sofa to leave him alone, but Castiel stopped him by gripping his arm tightly. He laughed, quiet and thoughtful. He was also starting to get tired, but wanted to make sure they were comfortable. He managed as best he could to lie down all along the sofa, and Castiel naturally nestled against him. Fortunately, they were both in sleepwear, they could stay here all night.

He glanced quickly at the fireplace, making sure there was enough wood for the hours to come. His attention shifted back to Castiel, who had his head resting on his chest, one hand on his stomach and the rest of his body practically trapped between his slightly spread legs. They had spent a few nights together before, but never so close. Never like this. Usually Castiel left his room when he slept, to do the laundry or to read.

Sam wondered why he had never asked him to stay before. He had never dared.

Time passed, and Sam didn't want to, or rather couldn't sleep right now. He recovered the tablet, which he then placed on a pillow on top of Cas’s back. He didn't seem bothered, so he spent an hour playing puzzle games on the internet.

After having yawned three times in a row, he put it away, and prepared to fall asleep himself. He adjusted the pillow between himself and the armrest, and instinctively slipped his hand through Cas's hair.

“You’re an angry sleeper!” He laughed and apologized when he heard him growl because he had to wriggle to avoid having all his limbs aching.

He finally fell asleep, snoring in unison with Castiel.


	5. Home

Sam had thought about setting the alarm for 7:30. It rang at this hour, which woke them both to the sweet music of Exile by Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver. Castiel looked confused when he woke up, a small trace of drool on Sam's t-shirt.

He stood up to kneel on the couch, giving Sam the opportunity to stretch and relax his legs. His black hair was disheveled and Sam couldn't help but smile. He was adorable. "Good morning."

Castiel rubbed his eyes, before resting his gaze on Sam cross-legged on the sofa. "Hello Sam. I am sorry I used you as a bed last night.”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. "It's no problem, Cas. But I’m wondering why you slept in the first place."

He sighed, looking out the window to see the weather. "I've told you. My powers are out of control lately. My grace is unstable, and it takes a long time to recharge it."

Sam was right about the reason for this sudden sleep. Ever since Chuck had returned, after the zombie apocalypse, the powers of the angels were flawed. Then it hit him. "Is that because of me? Because you healed me during my nightmare…?"

Castiel looked at Sam with an apologetic look. "It's not your fault, Sam. I saved you because it was the right thing to do. It will take time but I will be fine." He got up to go to the kitchen and pour himself a glass of water.

Sam followed him, getting one as well. He still felt guilty about his condition, but respected Castiel's willingness to use his powers as he wanted. He wasn't going to blame him for saving him, he was grateful.

“What does it feel like,” Sam paused to take a sip of water. “To have dead batteries as an angel?”

Castiel searched for an acceptable metaphor, placing his glass in the sink. "It's like being almost human. I eat more, sleep, and my emotions are out of order. I think you could equate this to the condition before any female periods.”

Sam chuckled, it was a strange comparison but he thought he understood where he was going. — Thank you Claire Novak.

He looked at the hour on the clock and cursed. He made a quick tour of the house to recover his things scattered all over the place and took the opportunity to change. He wasn't going through the forest in his pajamas. He stopped in front of the front door to load his bag and put on his shoes.

He moaned when he saw two messages from Dean. "Don't be late", sent twice. "Well, I think I have everything." Satisfied, he put on his jacket and stowed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

Castiel hadn't moved, slumped against the kitchen counter. He had watched Sam pacing back and forth for the last twenty minutes. He looked upset. "You know I can come with you. Help with the case."

Sam shook his head as he joined him, planted in front of him. "I know you can. It's fine, Cas. If we have a problem, I'll call you. We’re dealing with this with Dean." He smiled at him, stroking his arm affectionately.

Castiel sighed again, looking down at his socks. "I guess I don't want you to go."

He had butterflies deep in his stomach. He didn't want to leave either. He slipped a hand under Castiel's chin to lift his face. He looked him in the eye, like a promise. "You have something great here. I can’t ask you to go back to Lebanon. Or forcing you to do anything. I can come back here." He whispered after, "I mean, if you still don't want to come home..."

Castiel gave him a sad smile and nodded. He was glad Sam understood, and gave him the space he still needed. "Thank you, Sam. For everything, and for not giving up on me."

Sam bit her lower lip, trying to concentrate. "I will always come for you, Cas." He pulled his hand away from his face to slam his own thighs hard. "Okay. I have to go now, I don’t want Dean to complain all the way back to Kansas." He moved closer to the front door before being interrupted by Castiel's voice.

"Sam wait."

He turned to face him, his brow furrowed. He waited for Cas to speak, which was taking longer than necessary. Suddenly his statement came out of the blue, the tone very calm and sincere. "I'm in love with you, Sam. I want you to leave knowing it."

Sam was sure his heart had skipped a few beats. Maybe a hundred. He convinced himself that he hadn't imagined the words that had just come out of his mouth. Because if he were honest, he had imagined this scenario several times its several years. Different places, different times, different ways. Ever since he realized that, Cas was more than an angel. More than his friend. More than his best friend. But nothing could compete with the reality here and now.

Castiel was still not moving, calm as ever. As if he hadn't just dropped a bomb into Sam's mind. "I will miss you, until I come home."

He had a million questions, the first being "Are you sure?" but instead he walked frantically to Castiel. He took his face in his hands, which made him jump. He leaned a few millimeters from his lips, brushing over them like a wave of warmth and hunger. "I mean, it's fine if I kiss you right now, right Cas?"

Castiel was still surprised but didn't hesitate to say that yes, he could.

Sam let out a relieved sigh, and closed his eyes before closing the short distance that remained and pressed his lips against Cas's. It was delicate, and simple. The sweetness was only short-lived, the kiss gradually intensifying.

He cornered Castiel against the counter, feeling Castiel slide his hands under his jacket to lodge them on his waist and pull him closer to him, claiming his mouth again. For a few seconds they broke the kiss, giving enough time for Sam to get a breath of fresh air. But he surrendered to him again, quickly. He gave in, parting his lips, willing to feel indefinitely the lips of this angel dancing with his.

He felt Castiel smile against his mouth and mimicked the feeling. They parted only to look at each other, searching for reassurance. He stroked his cheek slowly, his forehead naturally touching Cas's. "You could have told me that way before, you know… not five minutes before I leave!”

Castiel nodded, it is true that he could have. “I wasn’t sure you felt the same way I did.” He felt Sam's phone vibrate in his back pocket and didn't see the use to look at who it was. “Your brother is looking for you” he said, dropping a light kiss on the corner of his lips.

"Screw Dean. Of course I do, Cas. I do. I---” He sighed again as he felt his butt vibrate, literally. He wanted more, he wanted more of Cas right now. But he had a duty, the world needed the Winchester brothers and they both knew it. "Damn it, Cas." He shook his head, processing the last minutes of this very happy morning. The goofy smile on his face didn't want to go away. "I really do have to go now, but hold that thought, alright?”

He placed several kisses on Castiel's lips, desperate for this contact. And forced himself to reach the door and retrieve his bag. "Text me this time, okay?”

"I promise you."

Sam finally decided to close the door behind him. Then he ventured out onto the muddy path through the forest, after one last languid glance at Cas. A glance that the almost-human-angel gladly returned. The world could fall on his head right now, but nothing would take away the pure joy Sam was feeling.

Deep down, sometimes he suspected that things were ambiguous, but he thought he was projecting his own feelings onto the angel's actions. He was not wrong. This step was new, and unknown. They had things to figure out, but he was willing to do it with Cas, for Cas. For both of them. They had all the time in the world ahead of them.

He ended up joining Dean in front of the Diner, who was on the verge of using Baby's horn. "One more minute and I swear to god Sammy" He rolled his eyes before throwing away the wrapping of the donuts he had just gobbled up. He wiped the sticky sugar off his fingers and took a seat behind the wheel, Sam sitting on the passenger side. Dean started the car, obviously wanting for something. "So? How is the dorky angel doing?"

Sam turned his head to look at his brother, not really surprised that he wanted to hear from him. Things were complicated between them, but it was still his friend. And it was valid on both sides. "Cas is doing great."

Dean muttered a little "good" and threw curious and inquiring glances at his little brother. "And you're fine too. I guess the smirk plastered on your face since you reappeared had something to do with Cas."

Sam frowned, trying to hide it as best he could. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dean teased him. "You have that look you have when you’re about to get laid.” Sam looked outraged, Dean burst out laughing. "Come on. Sam, talk to me. You, Cas? It's finally a thing?"

He wasn't surprised Dean knew. He knew him better than anyone. And anyway they were stuck in that car for the next few hours, he better talk about it. "You know about that?"

Dean, with the serious tone Sam was taking, understood that it was important to him and also resumed his seriousness. “Yeah. I live with you two.” He started, turning his head to give him a heartwarming smile, “And you have a crush on Cas since the first day you met him. And you have this obsession with each other. It was a matter of time. "

Sam didn't deny the claims, thanking Dean for his compassion.

"If it's Cas that makes you happy, that's good for me."

Sam nodded, and answered "He does. He really does." Dean refocused on the road before adding "but, do we need to do alternate custody or something?" They chuckled when Sam slapped his shoulder hard, calling him an idiot.

They had almost reached the bunker when Sam's cell phone vibrated. A message from Castiel which delighted him "Be safe out there". Sam replied back that he will, and the next message he received was the apotheosis of this day. Sam sent his reply as fast, loving that they were on the same wavelength.

The last two messages on Sam’s phone, which he reread many many times perfectly represented their new reality.

Cas:  
 **“Boyfriend?”  
** Sam:  
 **“Boyfriend.”**

THE END.


End file.
